There was once a little girl called Lulu, who is also me, that wanted to visit the moon for just one time. And so I packed up everything that I will need, and went to the space port to get ready.
Before we took off, I just ate a sandwich and dreamed if I were an astronaut. “3, 2, 1…” and we blasted off to outer space. I was so excited that I even took notes when we were still on the ship. I wrote these words which I only have in my own brain; they were, “I love flying on the space ship and learn about outer space, although I am not even on the moon,” those words I thought that would make my father proud.
Now since we had already reached the moon, I got down and jumped up, and figured that I could jump very high. I knew why because I learned it in science class today, and so I wrote, “On the moon, I can jump very high because that our weight is lighter on the moon according to its gravity.” I love exploring, and heard that there were also aliens here.
I was really excited, and asked some of the real alive astronauts if the aliens were true, some of them said yes but some of them said no; I was confused, “Why did some say yes and some say no? I think that I shall have to find out;” after saying those words I and the astronauts went around and around the moon looking for aliens. At first I thought that we could find some, but after an hour we began to feel more that the aliens didn’t exist at all; some of the astronauts smiled.
I didn’t know why they smiled but I thought that it was pretty natural. After one minute I heard a thumping noise, and a queer sound coming from the darks side of the moon. I looked over there and saw some queer little fellows heading their way, they had no where to hide, and so they found a pile of rock which was by our side; and went to hide. When the little queer men went away we came out of our hiding spot and went on. I began to write, “I knew at once that they must be the aliens…” I thought it was a cool report and the astronauts smiled again.
I did not know what they were smiling at, probably their habit or something perhaps? After thinking about that queer question I heard another thumping sound and some huge men walked pass them just as the little ones did. I was now really confused, “Some little and some big ones?” perhaps they were having a game or something like that.
After the tour, I was very excited to give my report to my father and so hopped on the space ship to go back to earth. But there was a problem; they couldn’t find where they lived. The astronauts smiled and didn’t say a word. I was now extra confused because I thought that they were nervous too. And so they took another passage to Africa where it is the place best to have a safari, which is to have a picnic with wild animals around them.
After landing I said, “Why did you take this pass?” and then after that they smiled again, I was still confused. When I turned my head in front of myself, I saw dad on the ground with wild animals all around him. Now I remembered that it was my birthday; I was so surprised, and even the aliens came. Now I know the whole plan about this.
修改後：
There was once a little girl called Lulu, who was me, wanted to visit the moon for just one time. So I packed up everything that I needed, and went to the space port to get ready.
Before we took off, I just ate a sandwich and dreamed Ihad beenan astronaut. “3, 2, 1…” and we blasted off to outer space. I was so excited that I even took notes when we were still on the ship. I wrote these words which I only have in my own brain; they were, “I love flying on the space ship and learn about outer space, although I am not even on the moon,” I thought those words would make my father proud.
When we reached the moon, I got down and jumped up, and figured that I could jump very high. I knew why because I learned it in science class. So I wrote, “On the moon, I can jump very high because our weight is lighter on the moon according to its gravity.” I loved exploring, and heard that there were also aliens there.
I was really excited, and asked some of the real alive astronauts if the aliens were true, some of them said yes but some of them said no, soI was confused. “Why did some say yes and some say no?" I thought that I should have to find it out. Then the astronauts and I went around and around the moon looking for aliens. At first I thought that we could find some, but an hour later, we began to doubt that the aliens didn’t exist at all. Some of the astronauts smiled.
I didn’t know why they smiled but I thought that it was pretty natural. One minute later, I heard a thumping noise, and a queer sound coming from the darks side of the moon. I looked over there and saw some queer little fellows heading their way. They had no where to hide, so they found a pile of rock which was by our side. When the little queer men went away, we came out of our hiding spot and went on. I began to write, “I knew at once that they must be the aliens…” I thought it was a cool report and the astronauts smiled again.
I did not know what they were smiling at, perhaps their habit or something else? After thinking about that queer question, I heard another thumping sound and some huge men walked pass them just as the little ones did. I was now really confused, “Some little and some big ones?” Perhaps they were having a game or something like that.
After the tour, I was very excited to give my report to my father and hopped on the space ship to go back to earth. But there was a problem; they couldn’t find where they lived. The astronauts smiled and didn’t say a word. I was now extra confused because I thought they were nervous too. And so they took another passage to Africa where it is the best place to have a safari, which is to have a picnic with wild animals around them.
After landing I said, “Why did you take this pass?” and then they smiled again, I was still confused. When I turned my head in front of myself, I saw dad on the ground with wild animals all around him. Now I remembered that it was my birthday. I was so surprised, and even the aliens came. Suddenly, I realized the whole plan.