hello,my name is tian jiaxin ,i'm twelve year age .I had a happy family,they are four people in my family，there are my father,my mother,my brother and I . i like me. do you like me?
修改後：
Hello, my name is Tian Jiaxin. I'm twelve years age. I have a happy family. There are four people in my are my father, my mother, my brother and alllike me. How about you?
六年級:田佳鑫